My top five favorite "horror" films

In honor of Halloween I decided to post my top five favorite “horror” movies.  Somewhat nontraditional, but films that are effectively scary and terrifying, each in their own right.

5. Let the Right One In

This is a film that is as much about friendship and romance as it is about vampires.  Creates a cold, sterile atmosphere that provides the appropriate and yet ironic contrast to the warm affection between vampire and child.   Despite flaws in originality (obviously copying Twilight), I think this film serves the vampire-romance genre quite well.

4. The Shining

From the mastermind that is Stanley Kubrick, who really does have elements of terror in all of his movies, crafts his most popular movie behind the psychotic performance of Jack Nicholson.  The camera movement is simply amazing from when we follow Danny on his tricycle, to the genius jarring of the camera as Jack chops down the bathroom door.  One of my favorite scenes from the movie – Nicholson is amazing, the scene is simple but pretty foreboding.

3. Seven

A great horror film must create a palpable sense of atmospheric dread, and this is what is so masterful about Fincher’s Seven.  From the opening murder investigation scenes to discussions about a man getting mugged in the park, the atmosphere is one of darkness.  The tension that is played out between moral justice, divine wrath, and basic human depravity is shown at both its worst and its finest, all encapsulated by Detective Sommerset played by Morgan Freeman.

2. Requiem for a Dream

You may not find this one in your horror film cannon, but for me it is one of the scariest yet effective dramas I have ever seen.  The plight of self destruction, the utter loss found in addiction, with the ironic and deluded sense of hope places the viewer in the subjective mindset of a heroin addict.  The last twenty or so minutes of the film is absolutely staggering.  Some may not have the stomach to watch it more than once, but it should be viewed at least once, as you will never want to do drugs.  Ever.

1. Mullholland Dr.

A surreal nightmare filled with fears that we all encounter.  Fear of safety, fear of unrequited love, fear of failure.  What begins as a murder mystery turns into one of the best films about the destructive side about dreaming of stardom and success.  As with Requiem passions become overwhelming and obsessive as dreams bleed into reality.  Below is a scene that does a perfect job of unlocking the rest of the film, both structurally and thematically.  It’s amazing.

Mulholland Drive Diner Scene from Michael Oshman on Vimeo.

Radical Christianity...?

Understanding that its satirical point is to call out the conservative/Christian political right, I think this video brings up a great point of how both the outside world and those who call themselves "Christians" view Christianity.  The video suggests a pretty convicting question: What would happen if we really obeyed all that Jesus commanded?

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A Dialogue of Faith

Dude!  Dude! Oh my gosh!  Did you hear!  The Cubs are gonna get Theo Epstein!

Really?

Oh my goodness that is so awesome!

Who is Theo Epstein?

Man, are you serious?

Yeah, is he like a good first baseman or something?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen him play.

No man, he’s a general manager.  The guy who constructed two championship teams for the Red Sox within the past decade.

Ohhh.  I see.

Yeah man this is such great news.

But he doesn’t play?

Ha! No.  Duh, don’t you pay attention to baseball?

So… you’re excited about a guy who doesn’t really play the game, but only hires the people that play the game?

Yeah!

Huh, just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.

Uh, hello!  They just made a movie about a general manager.  They’re essential.  Brad Pitt Essential.

Good point.  (rolls eyes)

This is so exciting. We’re World Series bound!

 Like next year?

Well, probably not.  But soon.  Super soon.  Like within five years.

Five years?

Maybe next year.  Yeah man.  Probably next year.  I have hope!  Each new season means new hope, right?

Huh.  Interesting.  Don’t you guys have a lot of work to do?

I don’t know… sorta.  Maybe five years is more realistic.  Yeah.  Five years.  Guaranteed.

But I heard you guys don’t really have any great outfielders.  Don’t really have a long term first or third baseman, your pitching rotation is pretty thin and your bullpen is just terrible, save for your above average closer  - that may or may not be trade bait.

Um.  Well yeah.. but uh, I’d still say five years… probably.  At most seven.  And dude we got a super awesome shortstop.  Castro is going to be like the next Alex Rodriguez.

Didn’t it take A-Rod fifteen years to win a championship?

Dude whatever.  Theo is like really good at building up young talent.  

What about Hanley Ramirez?

Yeah?

Didn’t he trade him?

Yeah… but… but then they won their second championship right after that!  What a great parallel.

So you think he’s going to be able to trade your best and only real building block and then win a championship?

I mean, not all analogies are perfect man.

Of course. 

Come on dude, you got to at least admit that this is fate.

Fate?

Dude, he broke the Curse of the Bambino!  He has a gift.  The baseball gods smile upon him.

Right…  Fate. Curses. Baseball gods.  What, do you have like voodoo dolls at your house or something?

No man. Nah.  I just have faith.

Uh... in what?

I don’t know man.  Why you got to be such a downer?

I’m just being realistic.

Dude you got to be a romantic. You got to have hope.  Like haven’t you ever seen ‘Field of Dreams’ or ‘Angels in the Outfield?’

Are you trying to validate your real life philosophy through fictional movies?

[silence]

  …they were fictional…?

Oh my word.

Whatever man, someday all this hope and pain and anticipation and pain and joy and pain and all of it… all of it will payoff.

How can you torture yourself like this?

I don’t man.  It’s just like… you know, perspective.

A silly perspective. 

It’s the only one I know man.  The only one I want to know. 

For my Grandma

For the love of bacon

As I was working yesterday I walked by the meat counter, and saw a little pink sign that labels all sale items, stating with pure joy and heavenly trumpets that their bulk, thick-cut bacon was on sale for $2.99 a pound.  I thought to myself, Jacob.  This is your lucky day.  

Once I clocked out, I went straight to the meat department, anticipating with joy and excitement, my two pounds of bacon that I was going to purchase.  I thought, man what could be better than bacon?

And then an image went into my head piercing me like Cupid’s arrow.  So straight and so true.  The response was so rapid and immediate that I knew it could only be divine: 

Bacon wrapped in bacon. 

I stood there stunned, almost paralyzed at the thought.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.  Because what is the one ingredient that makes any food - without any hyperbole - one hundred million times better? Bacon!  So the only way bacon can be improved – in an odd cannibalistic type of way – is by bacon itself.  And then I got an even more specific image: make a crispy piece of bacon and then wrap it with a chewy piece of bacon.  Like a candy cane of swine sweetness.

The meat guy was looking back at me with a gleam in his eye.  I could feel my heart pulsing, my hands were a little clammy, and my knees were trembling.  And he gave me a look that asked, Two pounds, only two pounds? And if I knew better I swore he winked at me. I pondered this and I said to myself, he’s right.  Better make it four.   But I had to stop myself, cause I really think I would have passed out, so I said three.  Three pounds.

As a composer conducts his orchestra he wrapped them all up in the purest of white butcher paper, and handed them over to me like an Olympic torchbearer.  I looked him straight in the eye and said, “God bless you.”  And he was about to respond but I could see he was getting a little emotional.  He paused and with a tear in his eye he said, “No, God bless you.” 

And as I literally skipped my way to the check out line I thought of those two thousand years of existence and the Israelites, a nation without bacon.  I wondered of God, and how he could allow his own people not to enjoy one of the most profoundly delicious miracles of life.  I pursued this more, and concluded that yes, salvation is the best thing about the coming of Christ.  But God does wants us to know the freedom and the gift of salvation, in that through the law we are dead – no bacon.  But through the sacrifice of Christ he has made all things clean… first and foremost our sinful nature, but then a pretty close second… pigs.  And with that I could not help but glorify my God all the more.

I am breaking bad.

After hearing much hubbub and seeing “critically acclaimed this” and “critically acclaimed that” I decided to explore the television series Breaking Bad.   The reason I’m a little slow to catch on is that I’m not much of a television show guy.  I cannot make that weekly commitment, and too often shows leave me disappointed (i.e. The Simpsons, The Office, 24*, etc.)  It's quite a difficult thing to make a show good for an entire season, let alone to make a consistent show that is good from season to season.  (Looking at you Matt Groening)

*I watched seasons 5 and 6 of 24, great premise, but too gimmicky.  An over-reliance on the “bad-guy-is-really-working-for-a-badder-bad-guy” plot development made me feel strung along and stupid.  Advice to you Jack Bauer, the real bad guy in all of this: Satan.

And so I have recently finished the first season of Breaking Bad and I must say, I am impressed.  The plot follows chemistry teacher Walter White who is going through a midlife crisis in part due to the revelation that he has lung cancer, his career is stagnant, and he has lived passively for much of his life.   With finances in a rough spot and wanting to provide for his family after he is dead, Walt decides to start making meth with one of his former students turned drug dealer.  

So far the series falls upon the shoulders of actor Bryan Cranston (as Walter) who carries the responsibility with complete ease.  His acting provides the right amount of humor, emotion, vulnerability, angst, and bravado that keeps the viewer captivated and engaged.  At times the show falls into the pitfalls of sitcom gags and character stereotypes, but they do allow, at least momentarily, for a deeper depth and insight despite the shallow setup or plot lines. 

The show does a great job at being entertaining and I’ll admit that the only thing stopping me from making meth is that I’m not very good at chemistry.  Who knew science was so much fun and useful.

Favorite episode of season one: “Crazy Handful of Nothin’ “ – Great foreshadowed opening as well as one of the more intimate and endearing moments as Walt decides to do chemotherapy while lying in bed, cherishing the little things that reminds him of his wife. 

I’m quite excited to watch the rest of the series as I hear it only gets better.  I think I want to explore more television shows as well – two that are on my radar are Community and The Wire.  I also think (maybe… MAYBE) that television has a higher creative potential than movies.  I have yet to fully flesh out that theory, but more to come on that later… 

Spittin Hot Fire

Hey, top priority

Peace before everything
God before anything
Love before anything
Real before everything

Home before anyplace
Shoot before anything
Style and state radiate
Love power slay the hate

Truth killer, flakey face
Players say it to they face
Ain't afraid to major straight
Race at the table straight

Flow greatest like the greatest lakes
Capes all greatest states
Quiet water major waves

Steer the course make a way
And come ashore on a greater day
Home grown from the greatest grain
Full flavor in the native strain
Now put that on your brainy brain

Full exposure to favorite slang
Minimal wage and major gangs
Y'all seen them play the bait
Later night from day to day they came to play
We came to stay get out the way

Biotch, sun spot heat rocks
Brooklyn finest, preservation to beat box
pitiful poison to detox
When we rock the people I respond priority

Peace before anything
God before everything
Love before anything
Real before everything

Home before anyplace
Shoot before anything
Style and state radiate
Love power slay the hate, priority
Love power 

The Death of Steve Jobs and the Glory of Christ

Last night I overheard a phone conversation where a person told one of my friends that Steve Jobs had died.  He spoke with such a sincere somberness that it seemed that Steve had been a lifelong friend. When I later logged into Facebook, I saw numerous people had posted statements of commemoration, clearly showing the magnitude of his influence.

And such responses show the honor and gratitude we have towards the man.  What we are saying is, “thanks Steve for your work, you have changed my life.  And even though I do not know you, I acknowledge your influence.”   This is the natural way we respond to people who die.  We show much more gratitude, honor, and love towards those who impact and influence us the most. 

But in order to show that gratitude, honor, and love we have to see how that person has impacted and influenced us. Right now I’m writing this on a Macbook, as I’m sure many of you are reading this blog on an Apple product.  And almost all of you have Itunes and/or an Ipod.  Very quickly we recognize the impact of Steve Jobs and his life’s work.

But I had to ask myself “Well, how much more gratitude, honor, and love does Jesus deserve?” And I realized how little I show it, simply because I do not fully understand or remind myself of the impact of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.

I believe that one of the big reasons we have trouble acknowledging the magnitude of Christ is because we express it in a way the minimizes his life.  One of the most awesome things we can ever say or acknowledge as truth is this: Christ died for my sins.  Certainly an amazing truth, but this is the foundation, not the entire house.  If we only understand and believe that Christ died for our sins, then our worship and honor is limited to that statement.  In other words, the more we understand how big the gift is, the easier it is to show a gratitude, honor, and love that is truly deserving. 

Scripture not only says that Christ died for our sins, but scripture expounds so much more and so beautifully the full impact of Jesus and his life; the word says that because of his sacrifice:

We now have peace with God – Romans 5:1

We are one with the Father – John 17:21

We have received the Spirit of God as to understand the things given to us by God – 1 Corinthians 2:12

We now have a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control – 2 Timothy 1:7

We are fellow citizens and saints with the household of God – Ephesians 2:19

We are no longer slaves, but sons and daughters – crying Abba Father – Galatians 4:6-7

We are children of God – 1 John 3:1

We are now a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession – 1 Peter 2:9

We have authority and power over the enemy, rejoicing in that our names are written in heaven – Luke 10:19-20

We will do greater things than Jesus – John 14:12

We are no longer under condemnation – Romans 8:1

We are now dead to sin, and alive in Christ. – Romans 6:11

These are just some of the promises found in scripture, but hopefully we can begin to understand the greatness of the gift.  Christ did not die merely to say, “Hey, good news!  I’m not going to hold a grudge against all the bad stuff you did!”  But instead he says, “Hey, your sins are forgiven so that you can know me, and know my Father.”  That is the true impact of the gospel, and it deserves the greatest of praise.  

“Hey man! I liked Mumford and Sons BEFORE they were on VH1."

“Oh yeah, well you’re an idiot."

This is a dialogue I’ve had with myself on many occasions.  Hipster elitism at its most unashamed.   I was driving the other day listening to KURE – the student run radio station in Ames – and the pleasant but surely hipster DJ was about to play a new set, when she began with this disclaimer:

I’ll be playing Foster the People, but NOT “Pumped up Kicks”

I scoffed at such a statement.  On two levels.  First, if she were a true hipster, and really wanted to be cool she wouldn’t play Foster the People at all.  What an amateur.  My second thought was much more mature, and I sadly thought, man just play whatever. 

The tension within me to be a “hipster” (whatever that means) and all that it entails, begs a much truer and a much more brutally honest question: “Am I trying to be cool and original or am I just a jerk?”

 …hmm

I’ll answer the question with another anecdote: I went to Starbucks this morning and I saw them selling the new Wilco and the new Feist album.  And a little tiny voice within me said, get ready to start not liking them… 

WHAT!?!

Dang it! I AM a jerk.

I love Wilco and I love Feist.  Why would I even consider not liking them only because I saw their CD’s being sold at one of the biggest, most popular coffee chains in the entire world? Ugh. 

And this raised another important question within my heart.  Does God want me to be a hipster?

*By hipster, I don’t really mean the hipster culture (mac books, fixie bikes, tight jeans, etc.)  just more so the elitist, exclusive and more damaging mindset of being “cool” or “original.” 

I’ve had such a mindset for as long as I can remember.  At certain points in life it has hindered me, at other points it has allowed me to seek and find things I otherwise would never have discovered if not for breaking away from the mold. 

My parents like any other parents once asked me if I would follow so-and-so if they were to jump off a bridge.  What was at the heart of this rhetorical question is the proverb: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (13:20) 

My adolescent interpretation was a bit different.  Even despite my fear of heights, jumping off a bridge seemed pretty cool.  Pretty exciting.  So I heard,  be cool in your own way.  Jump off your own bridge.   And once others start to crowd your bridge, you got to find another one. 

Damn straight. 

But this is the opposite of the gospel.  Jesus says: “You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Bah!  So true.  Jesus says this not only because he wants his glory to be spread, but he’s also speaking to our natural nature.  When you see a good movie don’t you want to tell someone about it?  When a funny, embarrassing moment happens don’t you begin to text a friend to tell them?  When you get a new insight aren’t you excited to share it with another?  

And so I will dedicate myself to sharing joy with others.  Any and all joy, without hesitation, without concerns if I am being cool or original.  I will be unashamed.  So without further ado:

The Idolatry of the Bandwagon

This past Saturday evening while eating a plate of spaghetti I watched in pity and disappointment as the Iowa State Cyclones committed yet another turnover.  I turned off the game in the middle of the second quarter and with the press of a button I motioned for the driver to stop.  I quietly and somewhat embarrassingly removed myself from the Cyclone bandwagon.  Others looked at me with disgust.  No loyalty. And I could not refute, for any true sports fan knows that there are few things more disgraceful than the bandwagon hitchhiker.

I will continue to write this with two disclaimers: 

1.  I am an Iowa Hawkeye fan
     
     - This may ruffle a few feathers from both sides, but the Cyclones are not our immediate rivals, and thus does not disqualify me from cheering for the Cardinal and Gold.  I hold this rule of thumb, that unless you are a terrible program within your own conference (Cyclones?) then your rival - whom you are born and bred to hate by mere definition - should always come from within your own conference.  

2. I am an Iowa State alumnus

    - Apart from what was noted above, another reason that would allow me to consider cheering for the Cyclones is that I went and graduated from the university.  Here's an argument I always get and it always amazes me at its absurdity.  Why would you go to Iowa State if you're a Hawkeye fan!?!  We all know and understand that proximity need not dictate fandom, and this includes academic proximity.

But the shame, as I stand on the corner of the road watching the wagon drive away, remains only because the one driving is none other than coach Paul Rhoads.  And he looks back sadly shaking his head.  Ah! Coach Rhoads I’m so sorry.  He's so captivating.  So inspiring.  If he were to tell me to go mug old ladies on the street, I would do it without any second thought or moral hesitation.

CUT TO:

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

The PROSECUTOR wears a slick suit, glaring at the perpetrator - JAKE who sits on the witness stand.  The jurors look on curiously but with disapproval, while the judge stares smugly at him from his bench.  The rest of the courtroom is filled with people.  The ladies fan themselves and the men sit with their arms folded.  

PROSECUTOR

And Mr. McLaughlin how many

sweet old ladies did you mug

in the past three years?

WOMAN FROM THE CROWD

(V.O.)

Lawd have mercy!

JAKE

(head down)

I, I don't know.

PROSECUTOR

You don't know?  How does

thirty-two sound?

The crowds gasps.

JAKE

That's a lot of sweet old

ladies.

PROSECUTOR

Oh, believe me.  It is.  What

on earth would possess you to do

such a terrible, heinous crime?

JAKE

(beginning to cry)

I'm sorry.  But Coach Paul Rhoads

told me to do it!

The crowd murmurs in disbelief.

PROSECUTOR

Take responsibility.  You monster.

The crowd shouts their approval, while the judge nods in agreement.  JAKE jerks his head up, tears streaming down his face.

JAKE

I just wanted Paul Rhoads to be

proud of me!

As he says this, the audio of the famous Youtube, Paul Rhoads video begins to echo throughout the courtroom.  

Rhoad's voice pierces the soul, the crowd's demeanor begins to melt.  This is a moment that produces chills.  The prosecutor braces himself on the corner of the table as he listens.  He too begins to cry.

PROSECUTOR

Damn it your Honor!  The prosecution

removes all charges.

The crowd cheers, and the jurors slowly stand one-by-one and begin to applaud.  There is not a dry eye in the house.  The judge brings down his gavel.

JUDGE

Case dismissed. 

Seriously, the Paul Rhoads defense will work every time.  But let us get to the bigger, maybe more transcendent picture.  As much as I desire to cheer for the Cyclones, my true loyalty will always remain with the Hawkeyes. I have learned simply, that the heart cannot be divided.  If this analogy can serve itself for a bit longer, it is that the Lord did not intend for us to be bandwagoners.  And that may not even mean I have to hate or spurn the team that I have always loved.  Many of us believe an idolatrous heart is to show hatred towards the one whom we once loved.  But idolatry can be much more subtle. The question - well can't I love both the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones?  - is the wrong question.  The real question is - are we trying to love many things when we are really called to love only one? A house cannot be divided against itself.  No one can serve two masters.  You are either walking in the light or in the darkness. 

The one on the bandwagon is always able to get off.  When he sees trouble down the road, when he sees the number third, sixth, twentieth, twenty-fourth, and twenty-fifth ranked teams in the nation facing him, he can allow fear to grip him and he looks to avoid trial by any means.  The answer to this fear and doubt is this:

"And if you will indeed obey my commandments that I command you today, to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil.  And he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you shall eat and be full.  Take care lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them; then the anger of the LORD will be kindled against you, and he will shut up the heavens, so that there will be no rain, and the land will yield no fruit, and you will perish quickly off the good land that the LORD is giving you."