I will continue to write this with two disclaimers:
1. I am an Iowa Hawkeye fan
- This may ruffle a few feathers from both sides, but the Cyclones are not our immediate rivals, and thus does not disqualify me from cheering for the Cardinal and Gold. I hold this rule of thumb, that unless you are a terrible program within your own conference (Cyclones?) then your rival - whom you are born and bred to hate by mere definition - should always come from within your own conference.
2. I am an Iowa State alumnus
- Apart from what was noted above, another reason that would allow me to consider cheering for the Cyclones is that I went and graduated from the university. Here's an argument I always get and it always amazes me at its absurdity. Why would you go to Iowa State if you're a Hawkeye fan!?! We all know and understand that proximity need not dictate fandom, and this includes academic proximity.
But the shame, as I stand on the corner of the road watching the wagon drive away, remains only because the one driving is none other than coach Paul Rhoads. And he looks back sadly shaking his head. Ah! Coach Rhoads I’m so sorry. He's so captivating. So inspiring. If he were to tell me to go mug old ladies on the street, I would do it without any second thought or moral hesitation.
CUT TO:
INT. COURTROOM - DAY
The PROSECUTOR wears a slick suit, glaring at the perpetrator - JAKE who sits on the witness stand. The jurors look on curiously but with disapproval, while the judge stares smugly at him from his bench. The rest of the courtroom is filled with people. The ladies fan themselves and the men sit with their arms folded.
PROSECUTOR
And Mr. McLaughlin how many
sweet old ladies did you mug
in the past three years?
WOMAN FROM THE CROWD
(V.O.)
Lawd have mercy!
JAKE
(head down)
I, I don't know.
PROSECUTOR
You don't know? How does
thirty-two sound?
The crowds gasps.
JAKE
That's a lot of sweet old
ladies.
PROSECUTOR
Oh, believe me. It is. What
on earth would possess you to do
such a terrible, heinous crime?
JAKE
(beginning to cry)
I'm sorry. But Coach Paul Rhoads
told me to do it!
The crowd murmurs in disbelief.
PROSECUTOR
Take responsibility. You monster.
The crowd shouts their approval, while the judge nods in agreement. JAKE jerks his head up, tears streaming down his face.
JAKE
I just wanted Paul Rhoads to be
proud of me!
As he says this, the audio of the famous Youtube, Paul Rhoads video begins to echo throughout the courtroom.
Rhoad's voice pierces the soul, the crowd's demeanor begins to melt. This is a moment that produces chills. The prosecutor braces himself on the corner of the table as he listens. He too begins to cry.
PROSECUTOR
Damn it your Honor! The prosecution
removes all charges.
The crowd cheers, and the jurors slowly stand one-by-one and begin to applaud. There is not a dry eye in the house. The judge brings down his gavel.
JUDGE
Case dismissed.
Seriously, the Paul Rhoads defense will work every time. But let us get to the bigger, maybe more transcendent picture. As much as I desire to cheer for the Cyclones, my true loyalty will always remain with the Hawkeyes. I have learned simply, that the heart cannot be divided. If this analogy can serve itself for a bit longer, it is that the Lord did not intend for us to be bandwagoners. And that may not even mean I have to hate or spurn the team that I have always loved. Many of us believe an idolatrous heart is to show hatred towards the one whom we once loved. But idolatry can be much more subtle. The question - well can't I love both the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones? - is the wrong question. The real question is - are we trying to love many things when we are really called to love only one? A house cannot be divided against itself. No one can serve two masters. You are either walking in the light or in the darkness.
The one on the bandwagon is always able to get off. When he sees trouble down the road, when he sees the number third, sixth, twentieth, twenty-fourth, and twenty-fifth ranked teams in the nation facing him, he can allow fear to grip him and he looks to avoid trial by any means. The answer to this fear and doubt is this:
"And if you will indeed obey my commandments that I command you today, to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil. And he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you shall eat and be full. Take care lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them; then the anger of the LORD will be kindled against you, and he will shut up the heavens, so that there will be no rain, and the land will yield no fruit, and you will perish quickly off the good land that the LORD is giving you."
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