Today I was sitting in a coffee shop finishing up a term paper of some 5,000 words, a paper of particular importance, forcing me – especially the last few days, to use much energy and ingenuity. Well, as I typed the final words a strong sense of relief and celebration swept over me, and for a brief moment I was tempted to shout aloud: “Got it done bitches!”
The line of thought left as quickly as it arrived, following guilt and embarrassment that such a phrase would even be considered. But then I wondered, why the guilt? Why the embarrassment? Maybe because shouting – regardless of the specific semantic utterances – in a quiet coffee shop, would be rather distracting to the other patrons. This was very true. But then there was the other, more prevalent reason: I’m a Christian, and Christians don’t swear…
My first reaction was, bullshit they don’t swear. And then I thought Jacob Michael! Watch yourself! (Historically speaking, I’ve been known to taste my fair share of soap – the high school years were not my most endearing.) Within the Christian culture its implicitly understood that if you’re a mature Christian – or even if you’re not – swearing is not acceptable, being one of THE big signifiers of false faith. For example:
“Hey you know Tom right?”
“Yeah, he seems like a pretty good guy.”
“Ah yeah, is he pretty solid?”
“Do you mean like… is he physically dense?”
“No, like in his faith.”
“Ohhh. Well, I heard him say the ‘F word’ when he broke his fibula last year.”
“That’s sketch man.”
“I know, I’ve been meaning to talk to him about it.”
I believe that such a conversation to be ridiculous. I believe there are other “sin issues” that should be bigger markers – so to speak – than the occasional swear word. Call me sacrilegious but I’m sure Jesus dropped some bombs in his time. Here’s what I think Matthew really saw:
Jesus: Boy, am I hungry. [Walks up to fig tree, see that there are no figs. Walks away sad.]
Jesus: Damn it… [Fig tree withers]
Bartholomew: Jesus! That tree just died.
[Jesus, forgetting the dual meaning of the word’ damn’ contemplates for a moment, tries to redeem the situation]
Jesus: Oh yeah… Just uh… have faith, and you know… you can throw mountains into the sea, you can curse fig trees, you can even ask for fish and bread to just start falling from the sky and it will be done! [Mutters under his breath] Shoot, I’m still hungry…
[Fish and bread start to fall from the sky] END SCENE.
In all seriousness, I don’t condone swearing. It’s immature, offensive, and uncreative. Remember Ephesians 5:4, “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” But, I’m going to try to have my cake and eat it too: if one little swear word, at the appropriate time and in the appropriate place and with the appropriate people, will bring a moment of harmless joy then I say go for it! If anything, let’s try to not make swearing the unforgivable sin… Because damn it, it’s not!
I think the important thing to realize is that there's a difference between obscenity and individual words like "damn" "hell" "bitch" or "ass". It's not individual phonemes that make something obscene. It's the purpose for which we say something, it's the motivation in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteDamn good post Jake.