You know those moments when you’re reading the gospels, and Jesus does or says something that leaves you thinking, “Are you serious? Did that just happen?” Even with 2,000 some odd years of history, culture, expectations, sermons and teachings, we are still blown away by Jesus. He's such a B.A. (A loving B.A.) Here are some of my favorite “Ohnohedi’int” moments:
1. John 7:39-46
ESV Heading: You Are of Your Father The Devil
Or Rather: Pharisees Get Satan-slapped
The Set Up:
“Duh Jesus, you big goof, we’re the Pharisees – we follow Abraham! …and maybe even God. Well… probably God. We do follow God. Yeah, for sure.”
The Drop:
“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and he has nothing to do with the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I tell you the truth, you do not believe me. Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me? Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”
The Reaction:
Oh Snap! Jesus what THE HECK! Dude. It’s like if I went up to Mark Driscoll or John Piper and said “Hey, your father is the devil! (Which would not be true) That takes some big ones. Being a Pharisee is like a life long occupation too, and Jesus essentially told them their lives up to that point had been one huge self-deceptive lie. Talk about a day-maker.
2. Mark 2:1-12
ESV Heading: Jesus Heals a Paralytic
Or Rather: Walkin the Talk: Too Legit to Quit.
The Set Up:
“Hey man, sorry I’m late. What have I missed?”
“Oh dude, he’s just been healin people. So sick.”
“Ha. Good pun.” (They look on curiously)
“Dude what’s goin on, look someone’s comin’ in from the roof!”
“They just destroyed his roof!”
“Oh man I’d be so pissed.”
“Is that guy paralyzed?”
“Ah yeah, I bet he’s gonna heal him.”
Jesus: “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
“That’s not a healing…”
“Can he say that? He can’t say that can he?”
“That can’t be legal.”
The Drop:
“Why do you question these things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’? But that may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” – [looks to paralytic] – “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.”
The Reaction:
BAAAA! Classic Jesus. No analogy is perfect by any means, so forgive any sacrilege by making such a reference. But this scene is Shrugworthy:
(Michael Jordan is not like Jesus. Save for the fact that they're
both really good at basketball)
Pharisees and scribes are like poor Cliff Robinson. Oh, forgiving sins? Healing people? Eh, *shrugs* I can only do what I see my Father doing. Count it!
3. Luke 4:16-30
ESV Heading: Jesus Rejected at Nazareth
Or Rather: Ya’ll Wanna Hear a Prophesy? I said, DO YA’LL WANNA HEAR A PROPHESAY!
The Set Up:
“Does anyone else have anything they would like to say to the congregation? Any prayer requests or community updates? Margaret, I know we’re having that bake sale Tuesday night is that correct? Oh Jesus, you’d like to share something?”
The Drop:
(Jesus quoting Isaiah): “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Rolls up scroll, gives it back to the attendant, which is the first century, literal equivalent of a mic-drop) “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.”
The Reaction:
This guy’s crazy, and I like it. I love the reaction of the congregation: “And the of all in the synagogue were fixed on him” “And all spoke well of him and marveled” “When they heard these things, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath.” This is like the epitome of the religious double take. “Oh yeah, good reading Jesus. Very timely word. Wait. What? What did you just say? You cannot say that!” Oh yes. He’s droppin hot truth.
Man. I’d follow this guy.
(Editor's Note: For more see Matthew 5-7 - "Droppin it From The Mount" A Greatest Hits Collection)
(Editor's Note: For more see Matthew 5-7 - "Droppin it From The Mount" A Greatest Hits Collection)
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